Stock photos are always fucking terrible. I particularly love business stock photos that show people in suits doing awkward high fives or people pointing at meaningless charts or one person looking at you with arms crossed and a smug look on their face while everyone behind is blurred out. Such photos aren’t really surprising in a business/corporate context because, straight up, that world is lame as fuck already. Those are some fucking Grey’s Anatomy watching motherfuckers.
Cool people like DJs would never have to deal with that type of portrayal right? Wrong! There are plenty of terrible, sad stock DJ photos out there. Let’s take a look at them together.
This chick looks like she’s about to orgasm. Not gonna pretend that Djing doesn’t get me worked up either, but usually when I mix I use two decks. Also I face the equipment the right way. What do I know though? Maybe this chick is just on some Harlem Globetrotter DJ tip doing some kinda reverse one deck DJ trick I can’t even understand.
“Zis iz spezial CDJ from Russia zat play record from sexy girl”
“I AM GOING SO IN ON THIS THAT MY TITTY ABOUT TO START DJING FOR ME!”
“Duh, is this what music sounds like derp?”
This guy is eye fucking me hard right now. I feel violated. Also dude is cueing up two records at once. He must be a scratch master who can eye fuck and scratch without looking at what the fuck he’s doing
“I just act sexy and look off to the side, waiting for the tide to come in and someone to take me on this beach. Then, after that they can show me how to use a mixer because if you actually look at faders I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. Also I’m somebody’s daughter. PS Breasts.”
I hate when I DJ at a beach and no one gives a fuck.
TURN THE FUCK UP IN A DARK SMOKEY VOID!
I’m actually super jealous that this chick gets to 1. live in a cool blurry blue space nebula and 2. DJ with a completely wireless setup. It must be nice not having to deal with all those pesky cables.
“The faders may be set to zero baby, but my smile is putting your levels in red. Also help, I’m about to fucking spontaneously combust. Look at this fucking smoke coming out of me”
“Zis iz spezial guitar DJ controller from Soviet Union where sexy girl play it to make DJ the songs for Vladimir Putin”
This is the wrongest stock photo of all.